Cellophane

I feel
very ordinary
and very indecisive
very plain
entirely unremarkable
and just very blah.

Quote

Have you been inside the museum?
We should go
see the dinosaurs.

The ocean is cold sometimes.

Last time
I started to feel
like my semester was going pretty well
and life really wasn't all that bad,
things got a hell of a lot worse
and I couldn't remember
how the other part of this antithesis felt
until I began to doubt
that it had ever existed at all.

Now
I really
don't want that to happen again
but part of me
is afraid it will.

I wonder
if life just rolls in cycles
like the tide of an ocean
going in
and coming out,
in
and out
and in and out
andinandoutandinandout...?

Home and homily share a root, homou. Did you know that?

I absolutely love it
when I go to leave
from somewhere, wherever,
and someone interrupts my being unnoticed
to tell me goodbye,
or wave and smile,
or acknowledge somehow
whether verbally
or in a gesture
or by an expression,
that I am leaving
but they wish I could stay.

I wonder if people know
the magic in a simple word
from the lips
of a friend.

Belonging
is a wonderful feeling.

I don't know
that I've quite felt it like this before
even though this should be a place
where I'm supposed to feel it
more than anything.

Because now, I understand
how things are supposed to be
and what belonging truly is
and what it means
to be loved
and really live.

Turning

I reach
and still things feel
so far away.

I am sick of pretending
everything is all right
when I feel so lonely
and cry when no one sees.

And I wish
I weren't so good
at lying to myself,
ignoring problems and things
until it is as if
I could have forgotten
that they even exist.

Community

"How
I envy Phulan
the warm
circle of our women
for the rest
of her life,"
says Shabanu,
and I understand
what she means
when I am here.

My tear falls
and you catch it
in your outstretched hand
as we live as family
with one figurative blood.


*Shabanu, Daughter of the Wind, by Suzanne Fisher Staples

White slippers and tulle skirts, and lonely lullabies to the stars above

I wish sometimes
that I could be a little girl again:
Sipping cups of hot cocoa
by a warm fireplace;
Resting my head on my older sister's knee,
knowing I can simply sleep
and everything will be okay;
Cuddling in a chair
and reading chapter books
because they are big and important
and therefore so am I;
Wearing a ballerina skirt
with my cotton t-shirt
simply because it's pretty
and I want to.
Not looking at the camera lens
and just smiling up at the sun,
squinting my eyes so I can see
and not messing with the flowers
bobby-pinned into my messy hair.

Brick

I walk along
dancing in the shadows
as I approach the wall.
And I look up
and then I sit down
and Stop.

Reach

when we were writing
i kind of mentioned
that God feels very far away right now
and oftentimes i feel lonely,
but then i erased it
and pretended i didn't cry.

Animal

If I hold my hand
in front of the fire,
can I still be burned?
I'm kind of afraid
I will be,
now as I stand here,
holding my palms
so they face the fire.
Funny,
I can't tell
if this part of the fire
fades into the darkness
or brings a spot of light.
You tell me
my palms are going to blister
but I like the way they feel
as much as
I hate admitting that.


Fire
is hot.
Part of me
is afraid
of being burned
but i feel
so warm
right
now.